> Back when we lived without phones, we used to read instruction labels on all and any household cleaning products that were stored in the bathroom.
Wow, I forgot that I used to do this! And I'd puzzle over whether any ozone was left with all the CFCs being emitted.
But yes, the OP is very edgy take that totally ignores the existence of book/magazine baskets next to toilets. It's a huge plot point in Breaking Bad, for example.
The reason we have declining birth rates is phones.
It's not the economy. People have overwhelmingly been historically poor. Our ancestors ate rotting and festering meat and they had plenty of kids. Your great great grandparents went through some shit. HN community demographics are the exception to the rule.
The problem is every man and woman is sucked into a phone. They're never bored. There's no need to plan for long term fulfillment in another person. Always just more dopamine. Settling down isn't good because we're trained on short form gratification loops.
The spy devices enforce conformance too. Nobody takes risks and parties. Looking foolish will be shared and shamed. People get sucked into these closed off hyper critical portals where everyone sees a highlight reel, questions themselves, and adapts to the performance culture status quo.
This is worse than either Brave New World or 1984.
It's an almost fitting handoff that our species goes into decline as the robots begin to take over. Our species can't be just scaffolding right? We're kind of doing our best to prove that we are.
Your great great grandparents didn't effectively get fined for having each child. It was quite the opposite.
You make some really good points, but I feel they are a result of a greed-pilled, mean-spirited and individualistic-to-the-point-of-self-harm culture we're all sadly living under rather than the underlying cause.
Trained on short form gratification loops? Just the opposite. They're the path of least resistance. It was thermodynamically inevitable that short form content would dominate.
Pooping is interesting. Having a toddler reminded me how pooping is this uniquely vulnerable, sensitive time for humans. I think a lot of us use books/phones/etc to distract ourselves from a sensorily intense activity. I'm not saying that's a good or bad thing, just noting it.
I will say that playing my Nintendo DS on the toilet many years ago gave me hemorrhoids that still persist decades later. Don't camp on the toilet.
You want to train kids from a young age not to spend a long time on the toilet, which reading encourages. It consistently leads to hemorrhoids. That's just a fact.
then it is even worse than I feared! they are both worsening or increasing their own chances of hemorrhoids AND role modeling for their kids that spending a long time on the toilet is OK.
Yeah, exactly this. Once you have a toddler you realize there is an inherent desire to be alone while pooping. There is a sort of shame about this. Always Sunny made a joke about this: https://www.youtube.com/shorts/TFqzjdk5XPs
I don't believe in planning when to stare at the wall. I just do it when I feel like it - whenever - sometimes family members are around. Be reasonably spontaneous - you'll calibrate on you're own. Don't be afraid. Breathe, baby!
Everyone's gut is different, but one minute isn't unreasonably short, especially if you have something like a bidet for fast cleaning afterwards. Are you sure you're not constipated?
Pro tip: send the photo to spammy overseas recruiters, bonus if you add the photo in a .docx with a password. then when they call you asking for the password, tell them over the phone so you can hear their reaction when they see it.
Also, it's nasty. Check out how dirty your phone already is, then add fecal matter to that (you really think when you poop it just lands neatly in the bowl and nothing goes into the air?)
Surely whatever is aerosolised gets over your body and clothing too - so your phone would be less dirty than the rest of you, except the parts you washed with soap.
Would be interesting to see a study on this, not my instinct is mobile phone use whilst sitting on the toilet doesn't increase germ exposure in any measurable way.
Back when we lived without phones, we used to read instruction labels on all and any household cleaning products that were stored in the bathroom.
I bet there too was some obscure newspaper column that advised against that.
Yet, lo and behold, we survived!
> Back when we lived without phones, we used to read instruction labels on all and any household cleaning products that were stored in the bathroom.
Wow, I forgot that I used to do this! And I'd puzzle over whether any ozone was left with all the CFCs being emitted.
But yes, the OP is very edgy take that totally ignores the existence of book/magazine baskets next to toilets. It's a huge plot point in Breaking Bad, for example.
https://youtu.be/cXgg607wuis?t=35 (Breaking Bad 'Hank Figures it Out')
That is a real phenomena for a chunk of the population but I'm trying to understand what it is. Is it ADHD?
We learned Finish from the back of shampoo bottles.
I read about ancient greek mithology
I totally still do this! The random nonsense and just lists of ingredients make me relaxed.
If pooping is the only time you spend away from your phone, you're not spending enough time away from your phone.
The reason we have declining birth rates is phones.
It's not the economy. People have overwhelmingly been historically poor. Our ancestors ate rotting and festering meat and they had plenty of kids. Your great great grandparents went through some shit. HN community demographics are the exception to the rule.
The problem is every man and woman is sucked into a phone. They're never bored. There's no need to plan for long term fulfillment in another person. Always just more dopamine. Settling down isn't good because we're trained on short form gratification loops.
The spy devices enforce conformance too. Nobody takes risks and parties. Looking foolish will be shared and shamed. People get sucked into these closed off hyper critical portals where everyone sees a highlight reel, questions themselves, and adapts to the performance culture status quo.
This is worse than either Brave New World or 1984.
It's an almost fitting handoff that our species goes into decline as the robots begin to take over. Our species can't be just scaffolding right? We're kind of doing our best to prove that we are.
Ive read quite a bit, including one of my favorite articles, "It's probably the phones": https://www.noahpinion.blog/p/honestly-its-probably-the-phon...
But then you kind of dove into the deepend there. Spy devices, 1984, etc. I think a more tempered approach is useful here
Your great great grandparents didn't effectively get fined for having each child. It was quite the opposite.
You make some really good points, but I feel they are a result of a greed-pilled, mean-spirited and individualistic-to-the-point-of-self-harm culture we're all sadly living under rather than the underlying cause.
Trained on short form gratification loops? Just the opposite. They're the path of least resistance. It was thermodynamically inevitable that short form content would dominate.
Right it has nothing to do with pollution or endocrine-disrupting chemicals in the environment. Yeah its definitely phones.
You underestimate the amount of time I spend pooping.
I'm so full that I may have to run for public office.
Who read this while in the act?
Does taking a piss count?
Only if you're sitting down and lingering for 10 minutes...
Most upvoted comment in a long time. Probably.
you called me out
Pooping is interesting. Having a toddler reminded me how pooping is this uniquely vulnerable, sensitive time for humans. I think a lot of us use books/phones/etc to distract ourselves from a sensorily intense activity. I'm not saying that's a good or bad thing, just noting it.
I will say that playing my Nintendo DS on the toilet many years ago gave me hemorrhoids that still persist decades later. Don't camp on the toilet.
Yes, the only other closest parallel is maybe giving birth without reducing the intensity of an experience of child birth…
But there aren’t enough shampoo bottles to read.
There are dozens of us!
Yes yes I know this contains sodium laureth sulfate what else have you got?
Cocamidopropyl betaine is a must for me.
Aqua and sodium chloride. Because saying water and salt doesn't sound posh enough, somehow.
No it is diversity.
The ingredients have to be understandable by non English speakers – so water is out.
As for salt which one?
Not just your phone. Don't read books or magazines or do other things.
Get in, take your dump, be done in max 6mins, get up. Don't strain.
6 mins? Maybe with a squatty potty and if I'm lucky. Otherwise it's almost always 15-25min for me, not sure why, it just takes time.
you need more fiber and/or water
> be done in max 6mins
this has a very "tell me you haven't had kids yet without telling me" energy to it, in opinion at least.
You want to train kids from a young age not to spend a long time on the toilet, which reading encourages. It consistently leads to hemorrhoids. That's just a fact.
i think they meant they are purposely sandbagging while on the toilet to get some alone time
then it is even worse than I feared! they are both worsening or increasing their own chances of hemorrhoids AND role modeling for their kids that spending a long time on the toilet is OK.
Or, "tell me your family is bearable to be around without telling me."
Right! If you spend enough time in there to be reading you didn't actually need a shit.
There's also showering. (But I've taken to playing music in the shower with a waterproof boombox. Bluetooth'd from my phone, of course.)
And of course, sleeping. ;)
But there is something to this. Intuitive ideas come to you in the quiet moments.
From an evolutionary perspective, this is a super vulnerable moment and are in a state of hyper vigilance.
Yeah, exactly this. Once you have a toddler you realize there is an inherent desire to be alone while pooping. There is a sort of shame about this. Always Sunny made a joke about this: https://www.youtube.com/shorts/TFqzjdk5XPs
Odd that sloths spend their life in the trees except when they climb down to have a crap.
TIL that in the past, I definitely would have died while pooping.
Eridians have figured out the solution for vulnerable moments: I watch, you shit.
Dogs also figured this out, and it goes both ways. This is why they stare at you when they're going, especially when they're puppies.
Good one.
I don't believe in planning when to stare at the wall. I just do it when I feel like it - whenever - sometimes family members are around. Be reasonably spontaneous - you'll calibrate on you're own. Don't be afraid. Breathe, baby!
If you want a third reason, sitting too long gives you piles
That's the third reason given in the article (hemorrhoids == piles).
Flip side: more sitting on the toilet ensures a more complete emptying and less rushing/straining.
Flip side: sitting too long on the toilet increases hemorrhoid risk. [0]
Not having a distraction doesn’t mean a person needs to strain.
[0] https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC12407481/
Long-time toiletsitter, here. No haemorrhoids.
Some people don’t die from cancer after smoking their whole lives either.
I can tell you're not going to like it if I light up next time I sit down to it.
Ah ol smoop
? What? A healthy colon and diet usually do not need to strain or rush. Just sit and poop. like 1min tops.
You need to get that dysentery tended to.
? Sorry? A healthy colon and diet it’s not liquid or messy. A nice type 4 normal solid log that slides on out.
I’m very scared for most people I see online discussing BMs. People have some seriously twisted up guts and diets.
It seems we are unfamiliar with sarcasm.
Everyone's gut is different, but one minute isn't unreasonably short, especially if you have something like a bidet for fast cleaning afterwards. Are you sure you're not constipated?
I'm fine, enjoying my book.
What is this "1min" unit? Can you convert to YouTube shorts?
On the other hand, it's the only time I have a few minutes to actually check my phone...
But then how would I take the photo I need to feed my AI-powered fecal analysis agent?
Pro tip: send the photo to spammy overseas recruiters, bonus if you add the photo in a .docx with a password. then when they call you asking for the password, tell them over the phone so you can hear their reaction when they see it.
I’m confused, doesn’t your toilet bowl already do that for you?
https://arstechnica.com/gadgets/2025/12/despite-accessing-us...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DJklHwoYgBQ
The bathroom is the modern day phone booth. Its the perfect place to read hacker news’s first page.
Meanwhile Greeks .. "what's up buddy"
If you have time to read on the toilet, then (barring any disease or other disfunction) you’re not getting enough fiber.
It's one of the most tranquil parts of the day, and a time out from busier things. What's the rush?
what if i end up daydreamin?
God forbid a thought might form!
lol, great closing line
Obvious, and yet will be ignored
Also, it's nasty. Check out how dirty your phone already is, then add fecal matter to that (you really think when you poop it just lands neatly in the bowl and nothing goes into the air?)
Surely whatever is aerosolised gets over your body and clothing too - so your phone would be less dirty than the rest of you, except the parts you washed with soap.
Would be interesting to see a study on this, not my instinct is mobile phone use whilst sitting on the toilet doesn't increase germ exposure in any measurable way.
Is it really possible that yours splatters as much as that? Couldn't you wear a polythene kilt?
Sitting on the toilet reading this post gives it a whole different feel.
This must be GenX version of boomers "you are poor because you buy coffees". I need my phone for work, not because of some addictive distraction.
I do not do meditative "quiet reflection" on shitty toilet, I have nice space for that!
Literally read this on the toilet. Thanks!
"Oh! I'm so sorry I must have missed it when you got your PhD in defecation."
...but then when will I do my Duolingo?
I have an AI agent that poops for me and just reports the results.
ShatGPT?